Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
What I want to say this time is the fact that I am not looking for my soul mate. Yeah, I am not looking for the One; in fact, I don't think I have a soul mate.
Instead, I am looking for muse.
A girl (or a few girls-love comes and goes, hence people who believed the love is eternal must review their aqidah, because only God, Paradise and Hell is supposed-I repeat, is supposed to be eternal) that can inspire me to strive and start living, that is my muse.
But then, my realistic and nihilistic part of me would retort to this ideal:
"Fuck off, you fucking Servant of Allah!"
My romantic part would then reply:
"Why is it so?"
My Arabicised part would say:
"I think you are an atheist, though," exclaimed the sarcastic Marxist me.
And I would think then, "what the hell?"
Thursday, November 18, 2010
It feels weird, to have the sun in the southern sky, not the usual upper head sky.
It is weird to be in a temperature well below 15 degrees, when considering that it is afternoon.
It is weird to write this, and I have absolutely no idea of what am I trying to say here.
Maybe I am just being euphoric here. I don't know whether I am sad or happy anymore; this statement sounds like a lie to my own two ears, even if it comes from inside my heart, inside my soul.
Surrealistic is the word, maybe.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Bless her, forgive her, protect her, grant her everything she wishes, and help her, O Almighty Lord.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
1. Cinta Hampa (d'Lloyd)
2. Kau Pergi Jua (Adam Ahmad)
3. Ku Tak Bisa (Slank)
4. Masihkah Kau Ingat (Kopratasa)
Aku sudah tua.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
W4lr6s 10: What? Don't make me laugh. Weren't you an atheist just moments ago?
Yvvkyr: I think he changed his mind.
Viramstein: Yeah, one day he's a Sunni, one day a Shiite, another day a Buddhist!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I wonder if the yesterdays are true, or the whole thing's a very bad, prolonged nightmare.
I wonder if suddenly, I wake up and found out I was still in primary school.
It is possible, that I'm right now writing on a blog that's not actually in existence.
It is possible, that I'm not actually existing; I'm just perceiving my own fake existence.
It is possible, that nothing exists.
Thinking this way, maybe the label "atheist" suits me.
But I don't think so.
This is because I'm not just rejecting God's existence, but the whole Creation's existence as well.
Well, maybe I just reject my own existence.
If I don't reject my existence, I can't forget.
I can't forget her.
But do I really exist?
Friday, August 27, 2010
It's about her again, and I wonder why I had to woke up.
When I woke up, the conscious minds came into play.
"Forget it already, you won't get her anyway."
"Can't you see that the dream is as good only as a dream can be? It won't translate into reality."
I feel down. I hate reality. I hate the truth. I hate both of them, I'd kill them if I could.
As if I can.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
There are some situations in which you must listen only to one side of argument and ignoring the other side.Ok.
Mari aku cerita sikit.
Dalam kebanyakan hal, kita mesti dengar dari semua pihak. Pasal, most of the time, everyone says the truth, only incomplete, due to limited hindsight.
Ada je time ketika ada sorang dua cakap bohong. Ini pun sebenarnya kena ambik kira jugak.
Tapi, ada je situasi di mana kau tak patut dengar apa org lain cakap lepas mendengar satu pihak.
Contoh: Nabi Muhammad dgn Yahudi Madinah.
Dari cerita belah pihak Islam, Yahudi Madinah mengkhianat piagam Madinah, pasal tu mereka diperangi. Dan berakhir dgn semua lelaki dewasa Yahudi Madinah dibunuh.
Tapi kalau kau baca komentari sesetengah ahli sejarah, mereka akan cakap bahawa ini adalah bukti yang Islam itu anti Yahudi. Dan Nabi Muhammad telah melakukan kekejaman dgn membunuh semua lelaki Yahudi.
Ok lah, besar sangat cerita ni.
Satu situasi lagi. Semua orang tepi kau cakap bini kau curang. Bini kau sumpah demi Allah, dia tak curang, tapi semua org lain cakap dia curang. Time tu, apa kau nak buat?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The news came that my house had been broken into last week. The burglar took away the hand-phone(s? I don't know exactly how many got stolen) and the laptop.
The burglary took place while my family broke their fast. Guess everyone's at the dining table, so no one's hurt. Thank God for that.
But the stolen laptop and hand-phone(s) mean that I'm as of now, out of contact with my family. Well, I have been out of contact with them for these three months, due to a lack of proper internet access in my home (just a few spur of wireless access), but now I basically lost direct contact with them.
Well, should I resort to traditional post-mails?
No wonder I feel so alone.
My loved ones, far from my two eyes.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Tapi hari ini, biar aku gunakan perkataan 'jenuh' untuk menggambarkan keadaan hidup aku sekarang.
Aku berasa betul-betul tua, dan tiada apa yang memberi perasaan dalam hidupku. Aku mungkin senyum, mungkin tertawa, tapi tawa aku tak datang dari lubuk sanubari yang paling dalam. Aku sudah tak pasti lagi.
Jenuh sudah aku memasang harapan. Aku betul-betul tak suka dengan konsep 'harapan' ini. Kalau aku betul-betul manusia, aku perlukan harapan. Tapi aku tak mau mengharapkan apa-apa lagi. Hanya satu sahaja cara untuk berhenti berharap dengan sepenuhnya. Berhenti menjadi manusia.
Tapi itu tak bisa terjadi, bukan?
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Pros over a Guitar
- Guitars are no fun when the power goes down
- You can't get your guitar wet
- Ever try to screw a guitar?
- The input to a guitar is only 1/4"
- A guitar won't beg to be played
- It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
- When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
- Guitars aren't very aggressive
- A guitar won't play you back, except in Soviet Russia, where guitar plays YOU!
- You need two hands to make a guitar scream
- A guitar won't scratch *your* back
- A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk
- A guitar doesn't care who plays it
- You can't play two guitars at once (unless you are michael angelo baito)
- You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back)
- It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
- Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
- If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.
- You can't marry a rich guitar.
- Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime.
- Guitars don't taste very good.
- A guitar won't give you head.
- Slapping a guitar on the ass with a pancake does not give you the same perverse pleasure as when you do it to your girlfriend.
- Playing a guitar won't make you feel sexy. It will make you feel lonely. And gay. Very very gay.
- Looking up pictures of guitars on the internet is not as fun as looking up pictures of nude women.
- Two guitars won't play eachother.
- You can't watch a guitar play itself.
- If you date a sexy girl, people will think you're a lucky son of a bitch. If you date a guitar, people will think you're a jackass.
- A guitar won't be impressed if you fight over it.
- Running a guitar rental isn't as gangsta as running a woman rental.
Why guitars can be Better
- A guitar has a volume knob
- If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one
- You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
- You can unplug a guitar
- You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
- Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
- You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
- You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
- You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
- If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
- You can use four fingers (eight, if you use both hands) at a time on a guitar
- If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
- You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
- If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
- You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
- It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
- You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
- You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
- You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
- You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
- A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it
- Guitars are turned on by you
- Guitars don't complain about how bad you are at playing a Guitar
- Fat guitars aren't men they're basses
- Playing a guitar is fun no matter how old you are.
- Guitars only have one input
- guitars dont have control over your every action to the point of you being their pet (noodle)
- Renting a guitar for a night won't get you in prison.
- You can play a guitar without getting consent from it.
- Guys won't beat the shit out of you for playing their guitars.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Saya Seekor Babi
Saya adalah seekor babi yang dilahirkan 5 tahun lepas di sebuah ladang ternak berhampiran dengan pekan Selangau. Saya adalah anak ketiga daripada 12 ekor adik beradik yang lahir dari ibu yang sama. Saya tidak pernah melihat bapa saya kerana ketika saya berada dalam kandungan ibu saya, bapa saya telah disembelih untuk memenuhi permintaan daging babi pada musim Gawai Dayak.
Kini, saya tinggal di ladang ternak babi berdekatan dengan Sarikei. Kehidupan harian saya ringkas. Saya bangun sekitar jam 6 pagi untuk menunaikan ibadat tasbih bersama-sama dengan keluarga saya. Setelah itu, saya akan bersarapan bersama-sama saudara-saudara saya di ruang makan pada pukul 8, di mana pengusaha ladang saya akan menyediakan bahan makanan yang sesuai untuk kesihatan kami.
Pada tengah hari, kami menjalankan aktiviti kebudayaan bebas, di mana sesetengah babi akan berbicara mengenai hal keluarga, kepemimpinan ladang, hal ehwal babi dan keadaan ladang. Saya kurang berminat tentang hal-hal seperti ini kerana lazimnya mereka hanya akan membicarakan perkara yang sama setiap hari tanpa mampu mengambil sebarang tindakan yang positif. Walau bagaimanapun, saya tetap akan mengambil bahagian dalam perbincangan ini kerana saya tidak mahu ketinggalan dalam hal ehwal semasa di ladang saya.
Pada petangnya, kami disajikan lagi dengan makanan yang berkhasiat. Setelah itu, kami akan berkumpul bersama-sama untuk aktiviti tasbih. Aktiviti tasbih ini amat penting agar kami tidak menjadi seperti manusia yang tidak bertanggungjawab dalam melaksanakan tanggungjawab mereka. Dalam aktiviti ini, semua kami akan bertasbih dan bertahmid dengan suara yang perlahan-lahan.
Pada malamnya, kami semua akan tidur untuk menjana kembali tenaga untuk keesokan harinya. Namun, saya jarang-jarang dapat tidur dengan lena. Saya kadang-kala terfikir kenapa kami semua dianggap najis yang terkotor sekali oleh sesetengah manusia. Saya juga terfikir mengapa kami semua diternak sebagai bahan makanan oleh manusia.
Saya tidak tahu bila kehidupan saya akan berakhir. Saya berserah kepada Tuhan Yang Maha Esa dalam perkara berkenaan. Adakah saya akan dihinggapi penyakit, disembelih atau dibunuh, saya tidak pasti. Perkara ini amat menyedihkan hati saya selaku seekor babi yang tidak punya kuasa terhadap kemahuan Ilahi. Saya juga punya keluarga, teman dan sahabat yang saya sangat hargai dan sayangi. Saya tidak menginginkan apa-apa pun terjadi kepada mereka.
Setiap hari saya akan melihat pengusaha ladang saya membawa sesetengah daripada kenalan saya ke tempat yang saya tidak tahu. Saya tidak melihat mereka kembali selepas itu. Mudah-mudahan Allah memberkati mereka.
Semoga suara saya didengari Allah hendaknya, dan moga-moga juga ada manusia yang sudi membayangkan perasaan dan kehidupan kami, walaupun kurang tepat dan tidak menyampaikan isi hati kami yang terpendam.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
It was like, shit, what's wrong with you, what the hell's in your twisted mind?
But, it was too late, to even ponder what exactly did I say, and shit, why did I say those ridiculous things about my friend?
I should have been honest, and just tell her that I need her, and not saying those fucked up, false things about somebody else, and in the end what do I have in my mind? I swear to God, maybe Hell is the only thing that's more torturing.
Why did I lie to get myself heard, am I that desperate? For her to come to my side, or just say that she will come to my side? Hey, Rauf, tell me why are you so fucked up, why did you lie to two persons, why did you make the story up?
You can't be loving her, no, you don't really love her, you only lust for her, and wonder if someday you might end up in bed with her, but then she said she won't be coming to your place, and fuck it, why did you have to lie? And you said things that are completely untrue, and then regret it, fearful it will come back to you. And it did, shit, should I just laugh at you, when you try to cover it up as the guilty ones do?
Now you'll get it, the ample punishment you deserve, and the one who will punish you will be your own super ego, and the friend you might lose, and the love you might lose. And you DESERVE IT! SHIT! Can't I make the things right, now the damage is done?
Now get honest, don't say no half-truths no more, cause you should know, nothing good comes from denying that you're awfully wrong, to say false things about other people's affair, for your own desire, to get a girl inside your bed.
I must get things right.
Fila, what I did tell you the other day, was all made up. It's just a lie. I wanted to persuade you and make you change your mind, so you will stop saying things like you're not going here to Osaka. It is true, the life here feels lonely and hard, but then, Aya wasn't the one who got no real friends, it's me!
Shit, why did I lie to you? Even if life feels so lonely without you, so much it doesn't feel I'm living at all, does it justify me saying these lies to you? I know it doesn't! I'm afraid you will not come to my side, and now I know, with these lies, you will never want to come to my side.
Aya, I really did something terrible. I mention your name because I'm afraid to say it's me. It's my ego, I wanted to appear so great, that I would lie to Fila, because I am too ashamed to say I need her by my side.
I can only blame myself, even if I did feel insecure, I should have never told such a lie.
I can't believe it. And I thought I can tell Fila before Aya knows it. It's too late, and may be I'm sorry because I got caught? Oh shit! Now I can't even tell whether I'm honest or lying.
But still, I need to try to patch things up, and try to say the truth, or I will carry this to my grave.
Truthfully I am sorry. I am sorry. I am really sorry.
Minta maaf, Aya. Minta maaf, Fila.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
But I feel a need to write some things to reassess my religious views.
Last Friday, I have a little chat with one of my friends. It should have been a discussion on how to write reports, but in the end, we end up talking about different things. I've forgotten the details, but what am I going to write here is regarding the things I have talked there.
We discussed about capitalism, theological state ( specifically, Iran), Korean army conscription and Jesus. It's not a debate, we just talked about different points of view, without arguing which one is right, and not really in a serious mood ( you can't get serious when you are eating potato chips as you converse), but I can get some points.
1. Revolution against a system is only effective if you stay out of the system.
2. Capitalism affects everyone, is a way to world peace, but as a side-effect, you can barely fight those who are at the top of the system.
3. Attempting to talk about reports is just a waste of time, you better just write it straight away.
What does all these things have to do with the title?
Well, guess I'm out of topic again.
How fast time flies us by, no sound, no sign (unless you check your calendars everyday and notice the change in weather and so on) and definitely, no traces left behind.
Four months have passed since I arrived in Osaka. It's now summer, and it's freaking hot, it makes you remember the hazy days in Malaysia when precipitation is very low. Today's a very good weather (of course the day when I write this) and I'm thinking of going out for some exercise in the evening. (Of course this is prior to changes.)
The summer holiday is getting nearer, along with the exams. However, due to the very subjective, never objective nature of my course, instead of doing exams, I have to write some long reports. Well, guess I've to bear with it, and plus, it's quite fun, anyway.
But, I have doubts whether my report will land me good marks, or I will fail due to my Japanese, which still haven't quite reached the university standards.
Well, guess I just have to write them and pass them up. I can only do this much.
I'll try to obtain the highest grade possible.
It's still the first semester, so I don't have to worry much.
Life is tough, and it only gets tougher, and how I wish I can go back to 199, Jalan Pinang.
The address is no more, though. It has been demolished, haha.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
My head would think of a lot of things, big and small.
But somehow, these days, my mind seems to lose its control, unable to stop thinking where and when I should have stopped. The result, my mind feels burned, continues on thinking while it gets painful, as if my brain is squeezed dry.
This gets worse especially at nights, and no matter what I do, praying, eating, writing, reading-these won't stop my brain from working overload.
Every remedy is temporal, after a while, my brain gets jumped up again, and it can sometimes be very affecting to my behavior.
I've experienced days when I just couldn't write; if I try writing, I'll end up writing in a very sloppy writing, with big, irregular letters, frequent mistakes and repetitions.
I sometimes throw things in my room, books, watch, even guitars.
Beating the wall is a common thing.
Now, I'm getting worried.
Should I get some counseling from doctors?
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
The notion of languages, take for example Malay, English, Japanese, Arabic.....
the notion that these language exists is true.
To some extent.
Ok, I believe that every single person has his or her own unique language. Speaking pattern, grammatical usage, word choice, and so on.
In other words, Malay, English, all these languages, are actually a perceived notion.
I call these languages, a perceived common language.
Malay, for example.
Does the way I speak Malay exactly the same as the way others speak Malay?
If you think about it, some people have their very own style, word choice, grammatical usage of speaking. It's not just dialects or accents.
Take the word 'fuck" for example.
You know a video which highlights the way people use that word?
You will notice, that a single word can mean differently in different situations.
Which means, it is possible for a word to mean differently to different people.
I don't use the word 'fuck' very often in my daily speech.
For me, the word is just too harsh on most occasions.
But I am a very harsh writer.
I won't hesitate in writing "these fucking people".
If I am really pissed.
But the same rule does not apply to my speech patterns, and I avoid the word almost totally in my speech.
Others may not have these kind of rule in their speech.
They might be stricter, or looser, or just different.
So what am I thinking is the possibility....
...that not a single person among us....
not even Muhammad....understand Quran the way God does.
And the possibility that no one among the Prophet's followers, understand his word the way the Prophet himself does.
Sounds weird, right?
Just a theory, not proven.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Affair 1: A festive.
Side A: Bright cheerful cultural festive.
Side B: Sinful, sexually explicit festive.
Affair 2: Conducting business.
Side C: Right ways of conducting business profitably.
Side D: Lies and treacherous ways of maximising profit.
Affair 3: An attack.
Side E: Self-defense.
Side F: Terrorism.
Affair 4: Criticizing religion.
Side G: We are exercising our freedom of speech.
Side H: They are sprouting words of blasphemy.
Affair 5: A handling on a crime.
Side I: The act is a justified use of force.
Side J: The act is a heavy-handed use of force.
Affair 6: Perception towards those who fell in battles.
Side K: Martyrs who shed blood for our cause.
Side L: Killers who spilled blood of our people.
Affair 7: Debates between the pious and the skeptics.
Side M: Religion is the truth.
Side N: Truth is bigger than religion.
Affair 8: A children`s fistfight.
Side O: P is wrong because he threw things out first.
Side P: O is wrong because he provoked me first.
Affair 9: Ulama and politician.
Side Q: R doesn`t understand the demands of religion.
Side R: Q doesn`t understand the situation we are in.
Affair 10: Quarreling that happens between couples.
Side S: T is cheating on me!
Side T: S is overtly jealous!
Always the same story.
Friday, June 4, 2010
So, what's been keeping me?
Self desires, I suppose.
Just writing in a blog because it's fairly a risk-free way to tell the world that I am so f$%^ing annoyed with this and that, but in the end, does it change anything?
Can I stop who I feel needs to be stopped, just by typing words in my blog?
I really should take a more drastic action, a concrete action.
You're just too afraid of making sacrifices, you coward!
You can always go if you really want to go, but there's always another commitment:
Study, work, relationships, et cetera.
You're afraid of losing friends, you're afraid of having to abandon your education, you're afraid of spending your mediocre amount of money, you're afraid of losing the one you love, by making a drastic action.
I honestly am tired of second-guessing myself. But I can't help doing it anyway.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Call me anti-Semitic.
The Zionist are attacking the volunteers.
Call me an extremist.
The Israelites are attacking the fleet.
Call me a racist.
I don't care what kind of moral standard you hold into.
I don't care what kind of sovereignty are you.
I don't care how beautiful your writings are.
Call me a killer, a deceit, and a liar.
-CALLING FOR A PEACEFUL DISMEMBERMENT OF ISRAEL-
And United Nations, if they are not capable of doing that, should be dismembered to.
To hell with the liars.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
A big lie.
A big lie.
A big lie.
We are being lied upon, by the governments, by the institutions.
All governments lie.
United States? Lie.
Saudi Arabia? Lie.
Israel? The biggest of all the liars.
All institutions lie.
Muslim Brotherhood? Lie.
Amnesty International? Lie.
They preach of freedom, but the freedom is a lie.
Free fair trade, only widens the gap between the rich and the poor.
Is freedom of speech equals hurting people`s hearts?
Is being religious equals denying others` freedom?
Is iconoclast Islamic?
They talk about global warming, but the Earth continues to suffer in their very hands.
They talk about purifying religion, but the religion`s name continues to be marred in their `holy` hands.
They talk about democracy, yet they let people die.
They talk about justice, but in reality they are suppressing others, discriminating others, and are biased in their judgment.
They say that they advocate democracy, but they`re autocratic.
They talk about striving to uphold Islam, but they undermine it.
Every institution is crooked.
Democracy is tarnished.
Freedom is being compromised.
Religiosity is questioned.
Textbooks and scriptures are manipulated.
Even the Quran, the Quran that God promised to guard~
~is being manipulated, by people who claims the Word of God as their own.
People who claims to have God by their side.
Since when God can be possessed?
Since when God can be a possession?
Who invented the idea of Ustaziyatul Alam?
Who invented the idea of Imamiyyah?
Since when we are told to be a Sunni, or a Shiite?
Since when we are told to be a Salafi, or a Sufi?
We are told to be Muslims!
We are told to be the witness, to this world, and to be God`s agents!
Khilafah is not a political doctrine as the Islamists, the Qutbists say:
It`s a personal responsibility!
They claim to fight for Islam, jihad fi sabilillah, yuqtalun wa yuqatilun fi sabilillah,
but does Jihad involves inflicting collateral damage?
If they are really fighting for the God, why didn`t they just shoot the Presidents?
Assassination is fairly easy, and involves only the target, on most of the occasions.
Why did they choose to massacre the people instead?
They say that the people chose the Presidents, so they are equally responsible.
This is just shifting responsibility, and you can`t just shift the responsibilities to others!
They fail to see that Muslims and Kuffars are the same Ummah:
Allah is bigger than anything else.
Bigger than His Religion: Islam.
I have had enough with the self-righteous humans.
وَهَٰذَا الْبَلَدِ الْأَمِينِ
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ فِي أَحْسَنِ تَقْوِيمٍ
ثُمَّ رَدَدْنَاهُ أَسْفَلَ سَافِلِينَ
إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ فَلَهُمْ أَجْرٌ غَيْرُ مَمْنُونٍ
أَلَيْسَ اللَّهُ بِأَحْكَمِ الْحَاكِمِينَ
Quran, Surah At-Tin,95: 1-7
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
To my surprise, the class was canceled. Oh. Never mind then. I proceeded to sit anyway.
In the class, there were only 3 people. 2 Japanese girls, and a Korean. Well, his name's Kim (I don't remember his full name) and he prefer to be called Jeon (pronounced Jun). He, along with the Japanese girls, whom I don't know of their names, are of the same Department as me-the Department of Letters-and we both started to talk.
We talked about a lot of things, and I was surprised with the amount of general knowledge he has.
He seems to know almost a little bit of everything.
He said that he used to be in the United States-no wonder his English is perfect and sounds American-for a year. Even though it was just for a year, he encountered lots of things there.
Racism, drug abuse, fighting on a daily basis, and so on.
Man, if you want to study in America, based on my Korean friend's experiences, I think you ought to think twice.
We also talked a little bit about religion. Well, he noticed one thing. In this large city, Osaka, there are hardly any churches. (He's a Christian Catholic, by the way)
There aren't any mosque here, either. Unless you call a small house full of kitab fiqh, Quran translations, and halal food a mosque, that is the case.
But the most interesting part of our conversation is regarding the Japanese level of English.
I thought I am the only one in my English class who thinks of this, but he happened to think exactly the same.
Actually, we conversed in Japanese, although we had the option to talk in English. Maybe because it feels better to speak in Japanese? Don't know; it's a mysterious thing.
The contents are roughly these:
"I can't take it! Those Japanese are not speaking in English; they're just pronouncing inaudible things!"
"Why they learn English? To marry the white people, they say. What kind of reason is that?"
"Why they take International Communication, you know? To meet and talk in English with the white people, they say. I can't accept that kind of motivation! I AM a foreigner, too, and I speak English on an almost native level, too. Talk to me!"
"You want to speak English? I can teach you how to f***ing speak in English, you m*******....."
Ok, the last part is in English, and he was so pissed of, that he uttered mother******.
And I thought he was a kind of cool, serious and diligent student.
Yes, he is, but he has this kind of side, too.
It was fun talking to him. I enjoyed the conversation very much, so much I didn't realize that one hour had passed.
Through the conversation, I realized one thing. This world is so big, you just can't comprehend everything. Yet, it's also a small one too, that people from very different a background and very far a country can meet and be friends.
The message: Racism is so yesterday.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Iblis berkata : “ Wahai Muhammad, aku tak bisa menyesatkan orang sedikitpun, aku hanya bisa membisikkan dan menggoda,”
Jika aku bisa menyesatkan, tak akan tersisa seorang pun. Sebagaimana dirimu, kamu tidak bisa memberi hidayah sedikitpun, engkau hanya Rasul yang menyampaikan amanah. Jika kau bisa memberi hidayah, tak akan ada seorang kafir pun dimuka bumi ini. Kau hanya bisa menjadi penyebab untuk orang telah ditentukan sengsara. Orang yang bahagia adalah orang yang telah ditulis bahagia sejak diperut ibunya. Dan orang yang sengsara adalah orang yang telah ditulis sengsara semenjak dalam kandungan ibunya.
Rasulullah SAW lalu membaca ayat : “Mereka akan terus berselisih kecuali orang yang dirahmati oleh Allah SWT” (QS Hud : 118 – 119). Juga membaca, “Sesungguhnya ketentuan Allah pasti berlaku: (Qs Al-Ahzab :38). Iblis lalu berkata : “Wahai Rasul Allah takdir telah ditentukan dan pena takdir telah kering. Maha suci Allah yang menjadikanmu pemimpin para Nabi dan Rasul, pemimpin penduduk surga, dan yang telah menjadikan aku pemimpin makhluk – makhluk celaka dan pemimpin penduduk neraka. Aku si celaka yang terusir. Ini akhir yang ingin aku sampaikan kepadamu. Dan aku tak berbohong.”
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Japan is quite a nice place for tourism.......but I am not a tourist.
That's a problem.
Here, there are many things that you have to adapt to. And some, I think, I will never adapt very well. Take, for instance, the toilet. When I go to the toilet, I have a very big problem.
How to wash your butt after you shit?
It sounds rather too rough, innit?
But it's a fact, here, they don't design toilets in the same way as Malaysians.
The toilet doesn't have a pipe in it, you see.
They expect you to use the tissue each and every time you use the toilet.
Imagine that. I tried wiping my butt once with the tissue.
It hurt. I got f***ing scratches on my f***ing butt!
No wonder Islam insists on enforcing Islamic country.
It is to make sure that every toilet has a pipe! That's all.
Ok, that's one problem. Another problem is regarding the amount of noise I can make in my room.
On weekends, when I got nothing to do, I grab my guitar and sing.
It was morning, 11 o'clock.
I played my keyboard. Then somebody knocked on my door.
I asked him, what's the matter.
He said people were trying to sleep, so keep my noise down.
Woi! It's 11 already! And you're trying to sleep?
Ok, that's a problem, too.
Overall, the people have been very kind and nice. A little bit cold, but nice.
I already made some friends, and they are all very nice people.
Of course it is hard to communicate, as there are a lot of things that I don't understand, but they are very helpful.
There are friends that I can sleep together in class.
I tell you, who the hell is stupid enough to take Latin language classes that is taught completely in Japanese?
Ok, I am stupid enough.
Taking Philosophy, for what? I don't understand what the professor is trying to convey.
Ideas of The World, a very awesome name.....but actually the name should be "English-Japanese Transliteration Class".
When I chose "Discrimination Today"'s class, I didn't expect a class in which we are told that confessing that you're a homosexual is a most wonderful thing.
That's the Faculty of Letters,Department of Humanities.
Reporting from Minami-Senri, Suita, Osaka.
This is Abdul Rauf The W4LR6S.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
First, my newly-bought bicycle was rendered unusable because someone locked and took the keys and disappear-I could not pull out the key, nor could I lock it-and I was forced to pull the bike from the monorail station, and on the way, the tyre blew off.
Second, my umbrella disappeared. I put it in the place the Japanese usually put their umbrellas in. After 1 hour or so, I checked it, and it was gone. Somebody must have mistook the umbrellas as his and took it. Well, just buying a new one would suffice, I thought. But the new umbrella couldn`t withstand the strong wind of yesterday. It was damaged the moment I opened it.
Today, I missed the train on 10.14. Which means I am late for the class. When I arrived at the class, the door`s already closed. I cannot enter the class. So here I am, venting in my blog, wondering if I will be able to escape the Go-gatsu Byo.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I`m getting used to the environment here, get to socialise with fellow students, whether locals or foreigners, enjoying the classes (I already know in which class I can sleep) and worrying about my loss of appetite, difficulties in finding halal food, skipping prayers and stuff.
At night, I relax in my room and use my phone to access the internet.
I can`t comprehend the God`s plans for me.
Which is the reason why I used to hate Him so much.
Not anymore, though, but I realised one thing.
Nothing lasts forever.
Something that begins has to end.
When will my life end?
I can only wait. Until the Death comes, I will work hard to make ends meet.
Friday, March 26, 2010
This is the first week of me in Japan.
Well, Japan is, well, different.
A lot of things are here, things that will make you feel as if in your head, suddenly there`s a traffic jam.
The wrong temperature for the position of the sun.
That`s the first thing you notice. The sun is so high up in the sky and yet, the temperature`s freezing cold.
People here are behaving as if they`re controlled by something.
Just my feeling, perhaps.
Getting halal food is as difficult as answering algebraic fractions without calculator. OK, just order food without the meat and chicken.
Who am I to judge.
Still adapting, hopefully the temperature will rise soon.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Sebenarnya aku mok kelakar ttg camni kita dalam dunia tuk byk hal yg bulak & x best.
Mun dapat, kw mesti mok semua org suka kw ne?
Aku pun cam ya, mok semua org suka. Tp benda cam ya mustahil.
Nabi pun ada musuh, dboh padahla kita yg x maksum towk. Ni ada jalan.
Tp, kurang2 ne, mun x dpt molah semua org suka pun, asal xda org kelaie besar ngan kita udah. Kelaie apa yg aku maksudkan ctowk?
Kelaie yg xtowk berbait agik.
Lalu putus hubungan semua.
Kelaie cam ya x bagus, malahan mendatangkan mudarat kat dua-dua pihak.
Tp, kita manusia towk, xkan lari dr molah silap. Kadang2 kita x perasan pun silap kita. Org lain perasan, ya masalahnya. Ada org camtowk, ada yg camya.
Bukan semua brg nok kita mok bleh jadik.
Aku towk, problem aku towk, byk juak mun dimikir.
Perasan bagus cgek, kedekut cgek, x friendly cgek, selfish cgek agik.
Ya baruk cket, byk agik rasanya. Malaslah mok padah.
Tp, pasal kita ada problem towk, pasal yalah kita mesti mok berusaha mengikis kenegatifan yg bersarang dalam hati kita towk. Dan kita jgn try menghakim org lain. Org putih madah "everyone's heart doesn't beat the same."
Pepatah madah, "rambut sama hitam, hati lain-lain."
Ya pepatah melayu, tp rambut manusia towk x semua hitam, makinlah hatinya.
Mesti lain nak?
Time towk ari cam hujan-hujan cket. Luar gelap. Tp dah namanya bandar kl, ne ada gelap gilak.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
The people of Sarawak are getting more irritated by what they perceived as "Malaya racism".
Religiously, Christian Sarawakians and conservatively liberal secular Muslim in Sarawak will not be able to cope with the increasingly fundamentalist progressive Muslim government in the Peninsula.
Sarawakians are increasingly alienated by the political climate in the Peninsula.
Bumiputeras in Sarawak do not espouse the Malay supremacy espoused by Peninsula Malays.
The economic divide between East and West Malaysia is getting more pronounced.
The political factor in Sarawak is the Bumiputeras. Malays in the Peninsula doesn't know and understand how Sarawak Bumiputeras think.
Worse, some even looked down on the Bumiputeras.
We Sarawakians are getting more removed from the Malays of Peninsula.
We Bumiputeras don't trust the Malays, because they took away our resources, sold them and used the money for themselves.
Federal Government is slowly becoming an imperialistic force in our eyes.
Somehow, the youths of Sarawak will not accept to be a part of Malaysia.
This is imminent if the Malays continue on with their Ketuanan Melayu concept and rhetoric.
We are getting more different from each other.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Can't stop the feeling, maybe I should have just go and jump from the Igan bridge.
But then, I could not meet her no more.
How despicable this world is.
Is this God's justice?
I am just a man, and I had tasted the feelings of being an unbeliever.
It was bitter.
(Quran: Surah Ad-Dhuha,93:7)
I am going to hold the fort.
Friday, February 19, 2010
1. Pillars of Faith
-To me, Allah is a God that Hides. He Hides Himself, so sometimes I can't feel His presence.
-Angels, I didn't have any kind of contact with them.
c) The Scriptures
-I still can't understand Arabic much. And ain't interested in reading Bible.
-Never saw one. Never had a proper conversation with one.
e) The Day of Judgment
-Feels so far away in the future. Hell and Heaven, really couldn't care less.
f) The Destiny
-I blame it on everything bad I've done, and encountered.
2. Pillars of Religion
-Read it in prayers, without realizing it.
-Always praying outside of the time, and without concentration.
-Trouble with the lustful nights.....:-p
-Never pay by own money. Still rely on parent.
-Don't have enough money, time and courage to do that right now. Not now.
I think, right now, as I am, I am a liberal Muslim. And I don't support Qutbism, I don't support Wahhabism, I don't support Velayat-e-Faqih, or any other theocratic ideology. I don't support the re-establishment of Khilafah.
Islam is, as I saw it, a secular religious way of life.
Because there's the situation called "sah tapi haram."
Sinful, yet valid.
We must accept that Islam is not monolithic.
Islam is a light.
A light will have spectrum.
Conservatives, liberals, fundamentalists, heretics, sects, secularists,
all of these are part of Ummah.
If you can't accept these, you are not Muslim enough.
"Love your brethrens."
Regardless of their ideology.
Because Islam is not an ideology.
It is a way of life.
If you live in a desert but practice the way of the people of the tropics,
you'll die. Period.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Types of punishment
Syariah law caning
Civil law caning
Small-sized cane, not hard enough to inflict wounds
Big-sized cane, hard and inflict injuries
The way to swing the cane
Lift the cane so that there will not be space between the armpit and torso
Lift the cane high in order to inflict painful injuries
Not inflicted, because it is forbidden to do so
The caned parts
The back of the body
We are too ill-informed of the Syariah law.......