Wednesday, April 6, 2011

3 O'clock In The Morning

-I can't sleep.

-I miss everyone.

-I miss all the good times, it feels almost as if the Heaven was in the past.

-I am afraid of the future, I am afraid of time, I am afraid of the world. The world is getting nastier each day, one might wonder if God had actually forsaken this world and condemned it to Armageddon, leaving the inhabitants full with their anxieties and worries.

-It doesn't seem to get better each day. The life is increasingly depressing, and the obligations and the responsibilities gets heavier, and time is running short on me. With all of these, many of the people around me, including me, try to adjust, some by being more religious, some by being less religious, some by engaging in relationships, some by immersing themselves in more works or ideologies, and some just let themselves get dragged by the time, going with the flow.

-Yeah, it's hopeless. It's hopeless for those who let themselves fall down the grace, and sink down into the abyss of life. But some are still hopeful, some are still full of energy, some are being re-energized and some still try to carry on, albeit with little strength.

-What position am I in, then?

-Sometimes, I feel like giving up. Sometimes, I feel like running away. But if I give up, then what should I do? If I want to run away, where do I escape? And what from?

-And I think, maybe I am not the only one. No, it is the fact that I am not the only one. Everyone wants to take shelter from the cruelties of this world. Some find it in their beloved ones, some find it in religion, some find it in their friends, but some people are still unable to shelter themselves from the world.

-I don't consider myself a religious person anymore, but maybe it would be appropriate to quote from the Quran here; I still rely on Quran for spiritual health.

إِنَّا نَحْنُ نُحْيِي وَنُمِيتُ وَإِلَيْنَا الْمَصِيرُ
-"Indeed it is We who give life and cause death, and to Us is the destination."(Quran, 50:43)
-I don't know. It's already 3 o'clock in the morning.