-Godforsaken Rohingyas

-The Myanmar government doesn't want them. The Bangladeshi government doesn't want them. What option do Rohingyas have? Living in Arakan for years, yet never really welcomed by the native Rakhines, for they carry this stigma of being "Banglas", for they remind the majority Bamars of the dark history of Burma under British Raj--"Foreigners brought by the damned Englishmen,"

-Then we have the Bangladeshi government. They don't want Rohingyas back; yes, Rohingyas speak a language closely related to Bengali, yes, they share a common religion, them being both Muslims, yes, they look similar to each other; but Bangladesh is overpopulated, and there are not enough food, money, and living space for an extra 800, 000 people (not to mention the very real prospective of Bangladesh submerged by rising sea water level in the coming century, the shitty monsoon and the unstable political climate in Bangladesh), and the Bangladeshi government doesn't want Rohingyas crossing the border; they say it is a Myanmar problem.

-Yeah, the responsibility lies in the Myanmar government; that military junta, totally undemocratic, unfair to the minorities (remember, there are Christian Karens and Chins in Myanmar as well, and they too are being persecuted, hence the ongoing rebellion), and totally indifferent of the outside world--it is a hermit country, arguably only less crazy than the North Koreans, and you expect them to do anything to help the Rohingyas, who are not even considered citizens of Myanmar? You gotta be kidding me.

-But of course that is how the world keeps on rolling; keep problems unsettled, so that once in a while, some shitty, opportunistic politicians can make noises and get elected, by using these problems as their "issue that they'll attend to," or perhaps we can expect some celebrities to go and adopt a child/ donate a big fat check so they will appear as being conscious of the world's malaise, or perhaps some religion can use these as a sign that Armageddon is near, the Holy War to End All Wars is near, and then use those thing to recruit as many believers as they can, and perhaps sacrificing a few dedicated, zealous believers in the process, just to make sure that the religion's fame spread far and wide, as we all know that GOD LOVES EVERYONE!

Homosexuality

-My mind has been plagued with the dilemma of sexuality in general, and homosexuality in particular for the past 2 years.

-One of my closest friend here in Japan is bisexual. He described his attraction to men to me in detail, details that I won't disclose here because for me as a heterosexual it is gross to think just about them, but nevertheless, I can relate to the pain of having the feelings that you can't disclose, having the feelings that forever remains unrequited, the pain of being abandoned by God, this time due to His Biblical (He was a Catholic) condemnation of homosexuality.

-At first, when I came to Japan, I have this spirit of "I want to convert at least one person into the faith of Islam." Who better to convert than some depressed dude who is close to me? But when he disclosed his sexuality to me, I am bummed out. How am I supposed to introduce this man to Islamic faith, which as most probably know, is fiercer on homosexuals than Catholicism? He knows about Islam, he knows about this attitude; how can he be attracted to it?

-I read the Quran again and again, I tried to find a loophole that might allow for homosexuality. Of course, personally I found it; there was no direct mention of homosexuality in Quran, it is not explicitly forbidden, the interpretations regarding homosexuality are all inside brackets (which mean they are not part of the Arabic original text). But then I see the Muslim attitude towards homosexuality; can one change this hardened attitude, can one offer alternative explanations of Quranic interpretation without risk being shunned, excommunicated or even get killed?

-This in turn has distanced me from the Islamic faith, and also from the Quran; after all, the story of Lot is there, and due to the presence of the story in Quran, Quran is bound to come to the same conclusion as the Bible, which concludes the story with God's wrath towards the homosexuals. The continuation of Biblical narratives in Quran is questionable for me; why should Islam claim to be a continuation of Judeo-Christian prophethood? It is just going to inherit the same problems that way; as if God Himself doesn't learn from history.

-But then maybe, Quran ain't no Word of God; That makes it totally a Muhammad's innovation, and therefore Muhammad may be mistaken in his attitude towards homosexuals; After all, he didn't know better, didn't he? Him being human, from a very unscientific age, never learned in schools, never encounter homosexuality-he can't know better, he ought to harbor prejudices and these prejudices are then spilled inside the Holy Book.

-But of course harboring this thinking will kick you out of your Muslim faith, for this faith demands absolutism in your belief. There is no maybe; just "it has to be it" and "it can't be it; impossible!" And due to certainty, Muslims are happy, but their intellect worsens and their conduct on others suffer from faithful arrogance; do I want to be part of that? No. I'd rather suffer due to my acknowledgement on reality, than escaping to some belief system full of promises of better afterlife. It is more ethical, it is more responsible, it is more heroic.

-But this makes being Muslim more difficult; you don't feel like you belong there anymore, because of some gay stuff that makes you ponder about what this faith is really about and whether it still holds to its claims of being the solution, the answer, the truth; and this in turn has make me think a lot, think hard; but I don't know what to do. Atheism will not work; for the faith is not merely a personal thing.

Rants

See the video above? (I'm assuming there are viewers)

This is a way to mobilize Muslims, by saying that Christianity threatens Indonesia's demographics. I wonder, if it is true.

-People don't just leave Islam for Christianity just because they have unhappy lives. They leave Islam for Islam doesn't provide them with solace. What Islam provides? An untranslatable holy book, that one can hardly relate too, as it is full with wars, laws, threats to those who believe less; no body who do believe less will want to pick it up, unless they want to clarify the contents for themselves.

-What Islam provides? Laws; whenever one enters Islam, they have to subscribe fully to the laws, which came in full set, all the way from the ways to have sex with your wife up to whether one should live in a Muslim country or a secular country. Too much laws will prevent people to fully make sense of what the faith is really about, as they focused way too much on laws.

-What Islam provides? A shallow understanding of God; a God who won't listen to your prayers if you don't pray enough times a day, a God who insists on you admitting your wrongdoing and repenting regularly, a God who insists that His laws be the order of the nation. a God who insists! And we in Islam are just slaves to Him, no argument, no blaming the God, no complaints; do these and be an ungrateful slave. After all, it is God who lets you breathe.

-Well, I am not defending Christianity either. It is a stupid naive faith (pardon my language) who thinks that God would love you even if you sin, it really believes that somehow God can appear in human form and tells people you need to eat my flesh and drink my blood if you want salvation; Now in Christianity, we have a God who self-sacrifices Himself for Humanity! Such a Great God, innit? Except that it is really not logical to have a suicidal God. And their Scriptures are patchy; one moment the Scriptures tells you God loves everyone, another moment it tells you that the Jews are the Chosen People; one moment it teaches compassion, another moment it tells of prophets being merciless on an entire race-as God ordered them to do so. So it is not logical to have a God that behaves like a bad father in the first half of the Scriptures, only to have Him sobered up in the second half. It is almost as if there were two Gods. (Heck, maybe there ARE two Gods)

-But who cares? Nobody really cares about God; they care about themselves! Regardless of whether you are Muslim or Christian, your goal is the same; to save YOURSELF! You don't really enter these two faiths in God's name for your love towards God, you enter it for your selfish desire to be IMMORTAL and HAPPY in PARADISE!

-Ultimately, I think that both of these faiths are selfish faiths. That is why they will fight each other.

Seriously

-Seriously, what are we heading towards? Are we heading towards denying the existence of the Other? Denying the existence of the Other is the beginning of the Destruction of the Self, as the Self cannot be sustained by its own will. The Self needs the Other. That is why God created Creation: God can't really exist without Creation, for the absence of Creation means that no one is going to verify the existence of God, and God in all of His Arrogance, will not accept this absence of Verification, for He is Arrogant and Insecure, and trust me, this is a compliment. God is Insecure, that is why He won't forgive any deviation from His worship. He is Arrogant, that is why He punished Satan at His full Will with the most twisted punishment ever: Postponing of Banishment to Hell, and Condemnation to being the Enemy of Men forever.

If even God needs His Creation, why would we as the tiny Self, deny the existence of Others? For Existence only achieves its full blossoming, the beauty of Existing, by this verification from the Others.

العقيدة الابراهيمية

العقيدة الابراهيمية هي اقيدة بالله اللذي معبود و مأمون ابراهيم . من هذا ابراهيم؟ هذا هو  رسول اللذي فكر الفكرة التوحد الله. و هذا الاعتقاد اصبح الاساس الايمان بالاديان اليهودية, المسيحية و الاسلامية. لكن, لماذا من عقيدة واحدة يأتين ثلاثة اديان؟

السعادة

ما السعادة؟ يقول انسان "نريد سعادة في حياتنا في الدنيا و في الاخرة, فإن الانسان يحب السعادة." كل انسان يريد السعادة. لماذا يريدونها , ولو هذه الفكرة, يعني, العقيدة بالوجود السعادة ليست صحيحة , ليست هي الحقيقة ؟ هذه العقيدة وهْمة فانية و كذبة كبيرة. ولكن لا يفهمون انسان هذا الحقيقة, لانّ هذه الحقيقة قبيحة و مؤلمة . يعيش الانسان في الكون من امرالله (هذا هو الله ربنا, و ليس الّا هو الرب الخاص في الاسلام ) , يعني , نعيش من ارادة الله و من قدرته, حتى موتنا. ثم لو الدين الاسلام حقيقي او صحيح , سيذهب كل انسان الى الجنة او الى الجحيم. لانّ يكون ذلك السبب , ليس عندنا الحرية, و ليست الوجود السعادة حقيقية, لانّ تخرج السعادة من الحرية, ولكن لسن الفكر حقيقية.ـ

Sérieusement. c'est une langue difficile. Entah betul entah tidak tatabahasanya. 

Ramalan Cuaca Politik

-I don't know exactly, but there is always something that is saying to me that Malaysia, as a unified country, cannot stay united. And it feels real, given the fact that the Islamisation that has taken place involves only the Muslim community, and draws minimal participation from the non-Muslim citizen~the minority in their own country. The Islamisation of Malaysian education affects only Muslim students; and these students, with their Islamised minds, think differently, live differently, dream differently from the non-Muslim students, who despite their same age, has different thoughts, ways of living and dreams for the Malaysian future.

-Can these differences be reconciled? It is very hard to say, given the fact that the non-Muslims are mostly Chinese and Indian in ethnicity~and thus, to some extent this divide is not only a religious divide, but also a racial divide, and racial divide is hard to bridge; different cultures, facial attributes and languages emphasize the differences on a daily basis.

-How about the native Borneans, Dayaks, Kadazans, Melanaus and Bajaus? Bajaus tend to embrace Islamisation and Malay-fication, due to their less-than-desirable, purportedly recent, Filipino origin; Melanaus are also welcoming of these two changes, albeit with less enthusiasm, given the religious trinity of Islam-Christianity-Likou that still shapes the Melanau identity, making them, to some extent, more secular, together with their enthusiastic Melanau linguistic conservatism, Melanau language being a symbol of their pure heritage of the land of Sarawak, them being no Malay which is considered, to some extent, a foreign entity. On the other hand, Christianized Dayaks and Kadazans are less enthusiastic about Islamisation and Malay-fication; these are viewed as a silent, subversive, indirect attack on their identity, and of course they are not complaining: the Malays have always been a superior race culturally and politically, with their Srivijaya-Malacca legacy very much alive in the present-day Malaysia, and they are also more numerous, which makes the Malays more dangerous.

-This Malay-Islamisation is going to be a key factor in the shaping of Malaysian society. That's all, I am not jumping to any radical conclusion or suggestion.

يا الهي

,يا الهي
:اسألك هذا السؤال
,لأن رأيت الدنيا
,والله تعالى
:لا أفهم إرادتك
ماذا كتبت في اللوح المحفوظ؟
,و ماذا تريد من كل شيء
,و من كل نفس
و مني؟
,لأنك ربي و رب العرش العظيم
اسألك يا لطيف, ما السبب وما المعنى؟
,لأن قلت في الكتاب الكريم
",إقرأ بسم ربك اللذي خلق"
أن قرأت و فكرت
.ولكن لا أفهم إرادتك, يا الهي

W4lr6s's Happy Dreams

Where have all my happy dreams gone? I thought that by now, now that I am 22, I would be in a committed relationship with a short yet lively, smart, musical, cute girl , living a great life as a youth who discovers the world as a bright place full with love and joy, excelling in my studies and having a great self-esteem, and also an able leader for people of my age, living up to the expectations they have of a bright Melanau boy, living my musical dream by being in an alternative rock band which is open and eager for musical experimentation, openly espousing liberal ideas that would change and shock the nation of its racist slumber, and despite all that glory, still remains a humble, shy boy who remains loyal to his old, close friends and hopelessly in love with his girl, who also loves him back for his gentleness, kindness and selflessness-

-Wake up W4lr6s! You're living in a socially conservative society where your dreams go to die!

Little Girl, Don't Cry

-This world is an awful place to live in. It is, on one level, a reflection of hell: Violence, disasters, injustice, depression, regret, oppression, lack of freedom, limitations-all are familiar symptoms of the malaise called life, which can be viewed in a rather pessimistic (one might even say nihilistic) way of viewing this world, as a sexually-transmitted disease, of which the prognosis is certain death.

-We are both having this same disease, the disease called life. Yet we suffer it in a different way. I suffer from lack of confidence in myself; you suffer from lack of trust in people most dearly to you. I don't trust in myself, hence I want to disappear all the time-this might as well be what that insane Jew by the name of Sigmund Freud called by the name of 'death desire', a desire to return back to being something that has no existence, a non-existing being, which goes by no name, has no corporeal or abstract existing elements in it-hence it is ultimately beyond grasp, very much like God Himself, except that God is 1 and the non-existent is 0.

But you on the other hand, want to have a value. You seek that value called existence, you want to grasp it, you want to be the One. And yes, you are the One, for that desire manifests itself, actualizes itself in the most beautiful way imaginable-the word 'imaginable' here does not even portray your beauty, your essence in a way that justifies your existence. And yet you find it perplexing that this existence, this value that you seek, ultimately brings pain to you, as you found yourself to be surrounded by the Others, the Others that would not help you make sense of what you are, who you want to be, and what you can be.

-This perplexity in turn, generates the death desire in you: yet returning back to being a non-existent being scares you; and that is why we both met each other, to seek solace in one another, in a brother-sisterhood of two Existences, you finding solace in my embracing of 0 and me finding wonder in your embracing of 1.

-I know that you won't read this, and even if you do, you won't understand this bull-crap full with Freud-mimicking utterances: but it's fine by me, as I am 0 and you are 1-we just don't really belong, for 1 multiplied by 0 equals 0: but maybe I am wrong, maybe we are both One, for we are both Existences-who knows but God, the One, the Existent.

Nisfu Syaaban, Anger and Old S**t

-Arafat might have been assassinated.

-What a great news, really made my day! After 8 years since Arafat died, only now people come forward and say such things? That's really great, it is really a great day for both the Palestinian and Israeli folks! Now we can expect more drama again soon-after all it's Ramadhan soon, so this will provide us with real entertainment after iftar and tarawih, by watching the news on internet, and this drama might as well distract pious, sexually active, long-bearded men, from both sides of the war, from their wives (or perhaps...we should never know!) by catering to their secret fetish-so secret that they themselves don't realize it- of bloody scenes! And we might as well drag as many people possible into the whole sitcom-the Turks and the Egyptians are more than happy to rehearse their new found role in the drama, and I am sure United States will reprise their role with more glee this time, while European, Latin American, and Muslim nations (we can forget about the godforsaken Asians, as per use) will be in their usual seats, reprising their roles with more or less changes in this sequel to the old drama, and know what? Let's make the drama a religious one too, invoke the name of God of Abraham during the whole season-Hallelujah for the One True God, Alhamdulillah for the One True Religion, that is strangely reliant on the Holy Land like a drug addict!