Hold The Fort

I hate myself.
Can't stop the feeling, maybe I should have just go and jump from the Igan bridge.
But then, I could not meet her no more.
How despicable this world is.
Is this God's justice?

أَحَسِبَ النَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوا أَن يَقُولُوا آمَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ

Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?

(Quran:Surah Al-Ankabut, 29:2)

I am just a man, and I had tasted the feelings of being an unbeliever.
It was bitter.

وَوَجَدَكَ ضَالًّا فَهَدَىٰ

And He found you lost and guided [you].
(Quran: Surah Ad-Dhuha,93:7)

I am going to hold the fort.

Iman

Let's review my aqidah status....
1. Pillars of Faith
a) Allah
-To me, Allah is a God that Hides. He Hides Himself, so sometimes I can't feel His presence.

b) Angels
-Angels, I didn't have any kind of contact with them.

c) The Scriptures
-I still can't understand Arabic much. And ain't interested in reading Bible.

d) Messengers
-Never saw one. Never had a proper conversation with one.

e) The Day of Judgment
-Feels so far away in the future. Hell and Heaven, really couldn't care less.

f) The Destiny
-I blame it on everything bad I've done, and encountered.

2. Pillars of Religion
a) Shahadah
-Read it in prayers, without realizing it.

b) Solat
-Always praying outside of the time, and without concentration.

c) Fasting
-Trouble with the lustful nights.....:-p

d) Alms
-Never pay by own money. Still rely on parent.

e) Hajj
-Don't have enough money, time and courage to do that right now. Not now.

I think, right now, as I am, I am a liberal Muslim. And I don't support Qutbism, I don't support Wahhabism, I don't support Velayat-e-Faqih, or any other theocratic ideology. I don't support the re-establishment of Khilafah.
Islam is, as I saw it, a secular religious way of life.
Why?
Easy.

Because there's the situation called "sah tapi haram."
Sinful, yet valid.

We must accept that Islam is not monolithic.
Islam is a light.
A light will have spectrum.
Conservatives, liberals, fundamentalists, heretics, sects, secularists,
all of these are part of Ummah.
If you can't accept these, you are not Muslim enough.
"Love your brethrens."
Regardless of their ideology.

Because Islam is not an ideology.
It is a way of life.
If you live in a desert but practice the way of the people of the tropics,
you'll die. Period.

The Caning.......

Types of punishment	Syariah law caning	Civil law caning
Cane’s properties	Small-sized cane, not hard enough to inflict wounds	Big-sized cane, hard and inflict injuries
The way to swing the cane	Lift the cane so that there will not be space between the armpit and torso	Lift the cane high in order to inflict painful injuries
Injuries	Not inflicted, because it is forbidden to do so	Inflicted
The caned parts	The back of the body	The buttocks

We are too ill-informed of the Syariah law.......

The Evening's Red Sky

Just came back from a ride, sightseeing around Sibu town.
I tell you, the sky was so damn beautiful. Reminds me of the old days, when I used to kill time by riding my old bike. She's old now, old and wrecked by so many accidents. Hehe. Selalu sangat peng motor.

As I rode along Kampung Datuk through Kampung Hilir, I observed that the folks there still live very much like the old past. Same old houses, same old stalls, same old people(:-p).
Hmm. I wonder if a little bit of change will do.

Kampung Datuk. Hmm. Many of my friends lived there, don't know whether they're still there now. Emigration among Sibu Malays and Melanaus have been quite commonplace these few years.

Well, the past is past.

A New Look

A new look to my blogs, newly added widgets and stuff.
Happy....XD......
.......that's all?

Boarding The Plane

-I'm going back to Sibu today.
My studies here are finished, and I'm going for a long holiday.
Well, only 4 weeks, though.

-I'm now waiting for the call to board the plane.
About 15 minutes later, I think.
Let me write what I want in this limited time.

-I've been thinking of something.
Regarding my future.
Last night, I went out to eat with my......friend.
She told me:
"You should enjoy life more."
Man, as if I didn't know about that.
But, it really struck a point.

-This year, I'm turning 20.
Quite an old and depressing age, innit?
Yet, during these past 20 years, have I really done something that gives a positive impact on anyone?
I don't exactly know.