Thursday, December 31, 2009


I've been wondering.

Who the hell propagated the whole idea of celebrating the new year's eve?

Tonight's the full moon. Spells trouble, I guess.

2010. Well, guess we ain't getting younger.

Feels older, feels sicker.

New technologies. New tragedies.

I feel the need to vent in my blog.

Loneliness. A fairy is leaving away.

No, no, no, no messages received.

Starting a new year doesn't mean starting with a new heart.

Cry with no tears.

God will only laugh. Quite cruelly.

Yet, I must worship Him. Continuously.

I'm 20. Oh well, no wonder I can't see as clearly as before.

Oh well.

Sunday, December 27, 2009


You remember every little dream you saw in your sleep?

I don't.

I remember when I was a child, I used to dream of being in a field countless times.
I also dreamed of myself falling from tall buildings or bridges a lot of times.

As I grew up, I developed an ability to prolong or continue my dreams, and often creates dreams out of my own desire. Often, they are fantasy stories, fictional and me getting uninvolved in the storyline,just watching.

Yet, sometimes, this isn't the case.

One time I dreamed of an encounter with a white being, faceless and long-haired.

One time I dreamed of having an earring on my left ear.

Many times I dreamed of being naked.

One dream, the moon is so big in the sky, ten times the usual size.

I dreamed in Melanau, Malay, English and Japanese.

I dreamed of massaging J**'s feet, and holding F***'s arm and over her shoulder.

I dreamed of dogs biting my feet.

I dreamed of me having a better voice, I dreamed of hearing completely original new songs, and me praying in a Shiah Jafari fiqh way.

Is there a meaning to every single thing that I dreamed?

Or is there nothing at all?

O Allah, The Lord of Dreams.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Oh Sibu, And The Money That Flies Away

Back in Sibu.
The town of the ordinaries.
Yesterday, I missed the morning flight.
Goodbye dear plane.
Bought a new ticket, boarded the evening flight instead.
Must complain about the differences between the prices.
KL-Banda Aceh=RM200 something.
KL-SBW= RM756.
How can this be acceptable?
Just accept it. You don't want it, establish your own low-fare flight business.
Then, become rich.
Be a Datuk.
Marry N** A*****.
In your dreams.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Me, The Devil and Another Devil

"Menak udik."

"Nou kaau menak unei?"

"(censored) ee?"

"Hei, biek noula alah ih....yuu yuu....."

"Ako dah ubak, kak, mei sayak!"

"Pidan ji kaau ubak?"

"Yuk bah, mei tuing ji!"

"Sabei. Dei senged? Atang a lil kaau ih....."

"Sai a lil? Ako?"

"Mo a. Yai agik?"

"Nang selaka kaau ih......semadi mak ako ngenang kaau ih....."

"Anou? A part of your ownself?"

"Sigah atang. Debei a kerejah kik?"

"Gan bei. Kaau mei kerejah, ako mei kerejah. Senang.
Aku kan engkau."

"Nang saji bak buyak bukut kaau ih.......dah agik! Malas bak melayan kelo duah ih!"

Now, the question.
Where's the another devil?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A Stranger

Today was a busy day.
I woke up very early today, around 5 o'clock or something.
Took a bath, prayed, bought some food.
Then I went to UPM, in Serdang, to take the JLPT.
Man, it was really tiring, taking both the Level 1 and 2.

When I arrived in the test site, I was greeted by a large crowd of test takers.
I got to meet and spoke to my dearest kouhai (actually somewhere between crush and unrequited love.....but that ain't the point here) before taking the exam.
Man, it was so hard.

In the morning, Level 1.
In the evening, Level 2.
No rest at all.
Man, it was really a bad day.

After the exams, I went to my friends' house. Dinner and stuff.
We watched the tv. Such terrible news they had on the tv.
Man, it was so bad, so unlucky to have such news.

Then, we watched some kind of stupid reality shows.
I just watched, and laughed at the stupidity of the contestants.
Man, how bad can it be.

Heading back to the hostel, I thought.
I am here, a stranger in a foreign land, where they speak a different tongue.
How much longer must I hold on before the happiness come?
Oh Lord, my sweet Lord,
Help me.

My sweet love, lovely kouhai,
Can't you see?