There Has To Be A Way

-There has to be a way, a different way to see the world. If the Sufi says that the path to God is as many as the numbers of souls that have lived on this earth, then there must be the same number of ways of viewing this world too.

-Am I right, or am I wrong? I hope I am somewhat correct.

The Jewish God

-In Islam, we have the phrase Alhamdulillah.

-In Christianity, they have the phrase Hallelujah.

-Both are phrases in praise of the Lord God the Only One.

-That's basically it.

Posterity

-Muammar Qadhafi is dead.

-I don't know; my feelings are mixed.

-A part of me feels that this is the sign of a change towards a better, more democratic, more liberal and more open Muslim world, which will be able to accommodate more people, generate more advancements, advance academically and economically as well as being politically more vibrant and stable. There will be a new generation, that will advance without fear, without any post-colonial inferior complex, without any blockade from any other forces, be it external or internal and be able to come into terms with the current worldwide revolution of the way of life.

-Yet another part of me mourns the nostalgia of the old post-independence past of Muslim world; a part of our collective history as a Muslim ummah, in which we were lead by leaders that were autocratic, anti-Western, and maintains their power through some sort of status quo, which differ from countries to countries. The Muslims of that time were pretty resistant to outside influences, due to their strong anti-colonialism, anti-Zionist and nationalistic conviction, that Muslim ummah needed to recreate an identity as a collective whole, an identity any Muslim-be him secular or religious, liberal or conservative, right-wing or left-wing, politically concerned or apolitical, Shiite or Sunni-can proudly identify with. The Muslims at that time were idealistic, and even though there were too many mistakes done and too many bloodshed occurred, at least Muslims were sure, that they want a brighter future as a Muslim ummah.

-The era has come and passed.

-What has remained is the spirit of the Muslims, who demands and seeks continuously, the fulfillment of their spiritual and worldly needs, and the betterment of their states, both secular and religiously.

-Yet we are living in a dangerous world, in which ideals fail you, extremism thrives here and there, prejudices abound, and Messianic fears of the impending Armageddon feeds the ideology of Apocalyptic beliefs both within and outside the Muslim world. Muslims are afraid of non-Muslims, non-Muslims are afraid of Muslims, and fear breeds hatred between both. Plus, the mistakes that both sides have done, the bloodshed, the violence and the lies told have marred the trust between both sides, not to mention among both sides. Humans have developed a complex society that is interlinked together by a single capitalistic economic system as well as a highly advanced communicating system, and the combination of these two systems have in turn provided an impetus for a very rapid change to our human society, that the world doesn't look the same as it used to be as recent as 10 years ago. The effect is that many brilliant systems of the past have largely end up obsolete; and in my honest observation, Islam too, has ended up the same way.

-Hence, in order for Islam to survive, it needs to be reformed. I am not talking about purification of Islam the way the Wahabist faction wants it, I am not talking about the revival of Caliphate as espoused by the Muslim Brotherhood, I am not talking about the Iran-styled Islamic Revolution.

-I am talking of a total CHANGE IN ATTITUDE towards the very core of our faith; QURAN AND SUNNAH. I am talking about CHANGING the INTERPRETATION ALTOGETHER. I am talking about BRAVING OURSELVES TO GO AGAINST THE CLERICAL AUTHORITY, and CHANGING THE STATUS QUO OF THE MUSLIMS. ALTOGETHER.

-This is dangerous talk, I am well aware of that, and I might be missing a lot of vital points too. But the Muslims always wanted a kind of Muslim Renaissance. They need to refer back to the European society. The European advances by adopting a radically different attitude towards the Christian church, resulting in a very big schism in the Christendom. The French Revolution were as bloody as can be; the concepts of democracy was challenged by its antithesis, the communism, the secular people departs from the church, and the culture of the Christian Europe was changed radically, that the current Europe bears little resemblance to the Europe of the Dark Ages.

-I want to say that, in many ways, our current situations mirrors that of the European Dark Age; Heretics are hunted and killed, religiously we're being mind-controlled by the clerics, there's no real religious freedom in a practical sense, the society was afraid of outside influence. We need to change that.

-But this is not easy. In fact, this will be very hard, there's going to be a big turmoil in the Muslim ummah, and the ummah might be split more, if any rash attempts at change are being put into practice.

-But if Muslims really believed in transforming themselves into a better condition, we need to abandon our safe, established ground.

-And yet, many people, too many people are too afraid. They are convinced that the world is at its End, and thus may see any attempt at change as negative, the sign of the Devil, the Zionist (or Freemasonry) plot, the Antichrist plotting his move. These are prophecies; I found it weird that Islam taught us not to believe in prophecies whilst espousing these kind of prophecies. It doesn't sound right, it is contradictory, and it is a blunder. The Muslim ummah is engulfed in some sort of Apocalyptic fear, which does not do us much good.

-To end this post, I would like to say that frankly, I myself am feeling afraid, that Apocalypse is coming near. Apocalypse means the end of the world as we know it; the end of our worldly hopes and desires for a better place in this world. The belief in Apocalypse is some sort of a sign of submission towards a certain Will, that is bigger than all of us, that dictates all of our lives. But let's not be afraid of Apocalypse anymore; we must free ourselves from this fear.

-Muammar Qadhafi is dead. Innalillah wa inna ilaihi rajiun.

New Design For An Old Battered Heart

-Neh. I redesigned the blog out of boredom. Plus, it is a way to remind myself that a long time had passed since I left Sarawak in 2008 to pursue my studies, that ultimately proved to be a start of my new life.

-"My new life." Sounds optimistic, right? But my experience and observation has taught me, that this 'new life' is not what it may sounds like; to many inexperienced boys and girls, the phrase holds promises, yet to me and to some other pessimistic humans, the phrase brings a scary prospect. "What is it going to be like?""Where am I going from now on?""Do I really get to decide and determine my path from now on?"

-The questions, not many of us know the answer. Or even if we know the answer, ultimately the answer proved to be too idealistic, too optimistic and doesn't align with the reality of our lives, which makes the answer a white innocent lie and falsity, and the fact brings almost everyone with a faint heart down. Only those who are strong enough survive. Luckily, humans are indeed programmed to survive; thus, many people emerge from the depths of their despairs a reformed and stronger person. However, not all of them are entitled to such awards; some choose to give up. Which is kind of sad and weird, because everything is supposed to be an act of God.

-Many people would argue that God is the best planner, God knows better and God has better plans reserved for those who are in deep despair. They may be right; but then again, they may be wrong.

Ce Monde

Je n'aime pas ce monde.

Palestin

-Palestin itu seharusnya menjadi sebuah daulat, negara yang wajar diiktiraf oleh dunia seluruhnya.

Karma Lepas

-Cutiku di Malaysia telah tiba di penghujung.

-Kini aku telah kembali berada di rantau Jepun ini, dengan angin badai musim luruh yang menyambutku dengan kedinginan nyaman, berbeza dengan ketika aku meninggalkan Jepun dahulu, di mana pada ketika itu hujan turun, petanda perubahan musim yang menjelma. Aku secara jujurnya merasa agak aneh, kerana semalam aku masih berada di Kuala Lumpur, dan pada minggu lepas aku masih di Sarawak, dan perasaannya seolah-olah aku berada di dimensi yang berlainan, dengan bahasa yang berlainan, cuaca yang berlainan, orang-orang yang berlainan, lantas semua ini menyedarkan aku akan hakikat diriku yang punya daya upaya yang amat terhad, amat terbatas, dibatasi oleh sunnatullah dan hududullah yang merangkumi semesta seluruhnya.

-Kerana itu kadang-kala aku teringin untuk percaya bahawa Tuhan itu tidak wujud. Kesempurnaan ciptaan-Nya, kehebatan qadar-Nya, kesaksamaan pengaturan-Nya, semua itu tidak menjadikan aku seorang yang mencintai Tuhan, bahkan aku menjadi benci kepada-Nya, kepada kebesaran-Nya, kepada keagungan-Nya, kepada kewujudan-Nya. Aku benci kerana aku takut, bahawa kekuasaan itulah yang merampas harapanku, dan sesetengah orang mungkin berkata, bahkan Quran turut berkata bahawa Allah itu sebaik-baik perancang, namun aku kadang-kala merasa keinginan untuk menulis kembali kisah-kisah silam, untuk memadamkan segala apa yang disesalkan aku dan untuk menulis takdirku mengikut kemahuanku.

-Barangkali aku terlalu banyak berfikir. Barangkali aku membazirkan tenagaku di atas pemikiran yang sia-sia. Barangkali aku terlalu bosan dalam hidupku, dan perasaan bosan ini merasuk mindaku menjadi gila, berfikiran yang bukan-bukan sahaja. Barangkali aku harus bergerak mencari wanita untuk menjadi temanku di malam-malam, ataupun membaca lebih banyak Quran, ataupun berpeleseran dengan kawan-kawan, kerana perkara-perkara ini lebih bermanfaat untukku, lebih menyeronokkan dan lebih pintar.

-Tapi nampak gayanya karma lepas telah menghantuiku, kerana aku membiarkan diriku dihantuinya.

-Seorang daripada rakan lamaku telah mengatakan bahawa aku seorang yang terlalu paranoid. Aku berasa kata-katanya amat betul, aku sangat setuju dengan kenyataan itu. Dan paranoia selalunya merupakan sindrom, tanda-tanda kerosakan otak, minda yang 'dysfunctional', dan barangkali aku sedang mengalami 'mental spiral' yang mungkin berkesudahan kurang baik. Simpang malaikat empat puluh empat, kata orang Melayu. Mengapa empat puluh empat? Aku tidak berminat dengan sebab musababnya.