Gawai 2012

-I'm bummed out. Maybe it's because of the summer. Maybe it's because my Korean friend is in the f***ing army of the beloved South Korea, in the name of the fight against the Northern Red Brothers, that's actually pretty much a dead fight, leaving me here alone to face the life as a student in a very tough university (which despite of its supposed high rankings, is always the subject of criticism by some Israeli student who studies in that very university and he happens to be in a my circle of acquaintance), facing the Japanese people whom I don't get very friendly with and fellow Malaysians whom I don't really enjoy either.

-Maybe it's because last Friday was Gawai and I didn't get to feel the festival feeling that comes with it. Maybe it's because I don't have enough money. Maybe it's because Bashar's regime in Syria is massacring women and children in Houla. Maybe it's because Hosni Mubarak is being sentenced to life imprisonment, and Egypt is now facing a tough time, having to choose between a former general who served in the old guard and a conservative Islamist who didn't seem like a right choice, but who am I to judge for the Egyptians? Maybe it's because I am going to be 22 years old soon.

-Maybe it's because of the fact that I am doing a terribly bad job as a President of MSAJ Kansai, not being competent, creative and assertive enough as a leader, plus my forgetfulness that gets worse as I got older. Maybe it's because I am going to be back in Malaysia in 2014, but this time I don't have a plan as to what happens after that. Maybe it's because more and more of my friends are married. (This early marriage thing sucks, it makes you feel old and unwanted.) Maybe it's because of my tendency towards secularism and apatheism. (Yup, I don't think that atheism is the answer to all our religion-related problems) Maybe it's because the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians that doesn't seem to end (but from my observation, it seems that now is relatively calm compared to the early 2000s during the Second Intifada), maybe it's because Malaysian politics is turning increasingly undecipherable to me.

-Amen.