Today was fun. I spent time with my friends for 5 years; we zigzagged around the old city of Kyoto. It rained a bit, but we still managed to have some fun. Nope; we had a lot of fun, eating delicious food, sharing umbrellas (we had to buy them again; how many umbrellas does one need to buy?), photo session; yeah, it's a lot of fun.
But on the way home, one thing becomes apparent; this fun that we've shared won't last forever. We said goodbyes and good night to each other, the day ends, what we did became a memory, condemned to a perpetual state of being in the past; something that you can't rewind, repeat, or go back to. Our friendship becomes a memory too; friends forget each other sometimes, for every human has a limit (I read that it is on average, 150 relationships per person) on how many relationships can he/she maintains in a single moment; and this means that every time a person moves on to establish a new relationship (friends, families, lovers, all that usual thing), there is going to be a relationship that will be sacrificed, for the brain automatically removes that relationship, demotes the status of that relationship to mere 'memories', And thus the relationship is removed from the mental capacity of the brain, and it ceases to become a relationship.
That is a natural thing; to nurture friendships and forget some of them along the course of us living our lives. But right now, as I turn 23, nearing the end of my time in Osaka University (if Reality allows it, I will graduate on 2014), I increasingly think of all the relationships I have nurtured, all the people I have known, cared for and loved.
I just don't want to let them be mere memories. I need them; I need them all, but I also understand that I have to move on, be an adult, man up, sober up, face the Reality and in the process, I may have to decide whom I have to demote to mere 'memories'.
Shitty. Just pure bullshit. Reality forced this on me; Be an adult, say farewell to your friends, go face your future alone. Crap. Just unacceptable. I'm not ready. I'm never going to be ready.
But tomorrow becomes today. Like the fucking Passage of Time cares about your readiness. Age is a just number, alright; but you growing old, that's real. You're going to die; that's real. There's going to be a lot of farewells; that's real. You must accept it. So do I.
With this tone, I begin the new year. 2013. Bring it on.