Between me, the God and the Devil, there's only one reality, without goals or volition.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Depression 4
Disorder | Rating |
Paranoid Disorder: | High |
Schizoid Disorder: | Low |
Schizotypal Disorder: | Moderate |
Antisocial Disorder: | Moderate |
Borderline Disorder: | Very High |
Histrionic Disorder: | High |
Narcissistic Disorder: | High |
Avoidant Disorder: | Very High |
Dependent Disorder: | Very High |
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: | High |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders -- |
Thursday, January 20, 2011
W4LR6S
Today, I want to tell you about my alter ego. Yeah, that non-pronounceable name.
The concept of W4lr6s is:
1. He was born after the real person whom he actually is in real life, was rejected angrily by a girl.The ego came out, furious and stressful, but way too cowardly to speak up in real life, so he showed up in that real person's writings.
2. W4lr6s has no good intentions. What he wants is to ultimately kill God and become God himself. However, this is a ridiculous and impractical idea, which makes him all the more depressed. W4lr6s takes pleasure in absolutely nothing, and hates everything.
3. w4lr6s is a depressed man, and his depression makes him feel old, rusty and dead. He is convinced he will go to Hell, and he does not want Heaven, for he hates the God. W4lr6s is also a pedophile, and while he can't enjoy anything, seeing little girls does make him smile.
4. W4lr6s has some issues regarding his own existence. He questions everything, and does not believe that there is a single thing called truth. He believes that everything is a lie, even his own beliefs. Which of course adds up to his depressions.
5. W4lr6s despises Abdul Rauf. Both of them, sharing a single body, mind and conscience, constantly fight with each other, resulting in periodical madness and unending monologues. W4lr6s wants to kill Abdul Rauf, but is too cowardly to face the consequences.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
It's A Lovely Winter Out There
-It's a lovely winter out there. The morning has finally came, and I have had a sleepless night. Well, I will just sleep throughout the day, so there will be no worries about having not enough sleep.
-It's a lovely winter out there, and I am still here in my room, waiting for miracles, miracles that I don't believe in to happen. That is all I've been doing all this time, waiting. I want to act, a real concrete act, but frankly, I don't know what to do.
-It's a lovely winter out there, and there are lots of nice and great people out there for me to go and socialize with. However, I don't seem to want much socializing with anyone right now, and I blame the cold sunny winter weather for that.
-It's a lovely winter out there, and it seems that I am not going to be a selfless person. I am self-centered, I always think that the world revolves around me, and sometimes I wish I were the God Himself. If I were the One True Lord, then I can do whatever I want, and anyone who does not comply and submit to me, I will send them to hell. It's easy. And being God, I will always be right, make right decisions, plan perfectly and correctly calculate everything, with no one to judge me, and no one to fight me, except they are losing the battle.
-It's a lovely winter out there, and I looked at myself and sighed: I am just a servant of Allah.
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