Waiting

I am waiting.

Say "God is One"

-I never thought it could be.

-I always felt it was "somewhere else"

-Even though before, I was indeed concerned and worried about catastrophes, and trying to assess them as if I were involved, this time, I just feel sick. I can't assess anything, I'm just plain depressed. And I am not exactly directly affected.

-Hence I am just stressing that God, if He does exist, and I do believe somehow He exists, is worthy of praise, worthy of fear, worthy of love.

-Remember, that God is One.

99 Names Of Allah

-I believe some of the Muslim readers have heard about the 99 Names of Allah, "Asmaul Husna".

Because this is my 99th post, I somehow want to view all these names inside this post.

Let's go.

1. Allah

2. Ar-Rahman

3.Ar-Rahim

4.Al-Malik

5.Al-Quddus

6.As-Salam

7.Al-Mu'min

8.Al-Muhaimeen

9.Al-Aziz

10. Al-Jabbar

11. Al-Mutakabbir

12. Al-Khaliq

13. Al-Bari'

14. Al-Musawwir

15. Al-Ghaffar

16. Al-Qahhar

17. Al-Wahhab

18. Ar-Razzaq

19. Al-Fattah

20. Al-'Alim

21. Al-Qabidh

22. Al-Basit

23.Al-Khafidh

24. Ar-Rafi'

25. Al-Mu'iz

26. Al-Mudzil

27. As-Sami'

28. Al-Basir

29. Al-Hakam

30. Al-'Adl

31. Al-Latif

32. Al-Khabir

33. Al-Halim

34. Al-Azim

35. Al-Ghafur

36. As-Syakur

37. Al-Ali

38. Al-Kabir

39. Al-Hafiz

40. Al-Muqit

41. Al-Hasib

42. Al-Jalil

43. Al-Karim

44. Ar-Raqib

45. Al-Mujib

46. Al-Wasi'

47. Al-Hakim

48. Al-Wadud

49. Al-Majid

50. Al-Ba'ith

51. As-Syahid

52. Al-Haq

53. Al-Wakil

54. Al-Qawiyy

55. Al-Matin

56. Al-Wali

57. Al-Hamid

58. Al-Muhsi

59. Al-Mubdi

60. Al-Mu'id

61. Al-Muhyi

62. Al-Mumit

63. Al-Hayy

64. Al-Qayyum

65. Al-Wajid

66. Al-Majid

67. Al-Wahid

68. As-Samad

69. Al-Qadir

70. Al-Muqtadir

71. Al-Muqaddim

72. Al-Mu'akkhir

73. Al-Awwal

74. Al-Akhir

75. Az-Zohir

76. Al-Batin

77. Al-Wali

78. Al-Muta'ali

79. Al-Barr

80. At-Tawwab

81. Al-Muntaqim

82. Al-Afuw

83. Ar-Ra'uf

84. Malik al-Mulk

85. Dzuljalal wal Ikram

86. Al-Muqsit

87. Al-Jami'

88. Al-Ghani

89. Al-Mughni

90. Al-Mani'

91. Ad-Dharr

92. An-Nafi

93. An-Nur

94. Al-Hadi

95. Al-Badi

96. Al-Baqi

97. Al-Warith

98. Ar-Rasyid

99. As-Sabur

I don't get it yet.

Ego

-It's ego, isn't it?

-To talk badly about other people, other ideologies, other kinds of values.

-It affects me too.

-It can affect me, real badly. It has. In fact, it is, right now.

-That's ego.

-Ego makes it hard to believe, makes it hard to accept other's advices, makes it hard to even think straight.

-Ego is the thing that makes me feel, after receiving any messages, like this:

"But then...,"Well,.....,""You see....""Er...."

-See? Doubt emanates from ego. How can one believe sincerely in the Lord's religion, when ego fills the brain and the heart?

-It's too hard. Our ego is an integral part of us.

-I need to keep on trying, don't just stop here, it's not yet the end.

Fearful

Sometimes I'm fearful, that my sense of reality has become distorted.

Sitting Down

-After hearing all the news last night, I can't help but to rejoice.

-But then I remembered one thing.

-I have done virtually nothing.

-It's like a joke, when you're celebrating things that you didn't actually fight for. I was just sitting down in my room, watching the news, surfing the net comfortably alone.

-I really didn't do anything.

-And here I am, with some misplaced arrogance, saying things in my blog, things about struggle, freedom, liberty and stuff. Do I really have a thorough understanding of these? Do I really care for these? Do I have it in me the courage and the willpower to say it when I have to say it openly?

-I really don't think so.

-In my blog, I have repeatedly said some of my stances. But I did not exactly express them in the most honest way; I have self-censored some parts, sugar-coat some parts, and saying things that I personally did not believe.

-But in this post, I think that maybe I can say some of the things I have been concealing, out of my fear.

1. I don't believe in Khilafah.

2. I don't want an Islamic state.

3. I don't want a state run by Islamic law.

4. I believe in a fully secular government.

5. I am a practicing Muslim, however at the same time, I also adhere to some Buddhist principles.

6. I am not a Sunni.

7. I don't believe that the Companions are all good people.

8. Yet, I am not a Shiite. I don't believe in Imamiyyah.

9. I don't believe that Muhammad really can be succeeded.

10. Khilafah ended with the assassination of Ali. Umayyads, Abbasids, and Ottoman Turks, are mere monarchies.

11. I believe that Islam should allow itself to be criticized.

12. I ultimately believe that there should be no governments at all.

13. I don't believe in the infallibility of the prophets and messengers. I don't believe in a maksum Muhammad.

14. I don't think that Quran should be followed absolutely.

15. I might be practicing Islam, but in my heart, I am a Deist, and a little bit Antitheist.

Well, to summarize, I am not mainstream Islam anymore.

-I wonder, if one day I have to go and fight for my beliefs.

Revolution

-The president of Egypt, Hosni Mubarak has stepped down from his position as the president.

-Glory be God. Alhamdulillah. Allahu akbar.

-But we must remember, we must always remember one thing.

-Dictators come and go. Ideologies come and go. History goes in circles.

-And thus, the struggle for a better world, a better life and a better self never ends.

-Ila yaum addin.

-Witness, O Lord, and help the Egyptians.

-It is going to be a hard road from now on.

-But I would prefer believing, than not trying.

-Democracy is a goal worth fighting for.

-Liberalism is the key.

-A revolution in the cultural heart of the Muslim world. Imagine it.