Unnecessary

-Unnecessary things keep on plaguing my world.

-Unnecessary political ideologies mar the planned rally to the Istana Negara (and also the plans made to stop it).

-Unnecessary comments, both supportive and derogatory, of the aforementioned rally, makes the whole thing unnecessarily bigger, and more troublesome.

-Unnecessary feelings harbor over Malaysian viewership of the events.

-Unnecessary things keep on plaguing my world.

-Unnecessary prejudices among people makes international problem-solving difficult, especially but not limited to Arab World, Korean Peninsula, Africa and the whole human-infested areas of the world.

-Unnecessary sexual activity among humans has led to projected, unnecessarily explosive world population control, which in turn led to unnecessary food problem, which as we already know, has been happening for a few too many years for now.

-Unnecessary human desires for comfortable living has led to unnecessary development of technologies and techniques designed for manipulating the planet in an unnecessary way, hence the unnecessary environmental problems.

-Unnecessary things keep on plaguing my world.

-Unnecessary ego keeps me from changing myself to become a better person, and that has in turn, been keeping me unnecessarily depressed.

-Unnecessary desires has brought onto me some problems with someone, whose names I would rather not mention in order to keep the peace, and that in turn makes me more unnecessarily depressed.

-Unnecessary carelessness has been plaguing me the last week, resulting in me having to fail two subjects in an unnecessarily stupid way, and that in turn gives me more unnecessary depression.

-Unnecessary things keep on plaguing my world.

This Little Blue World

-It is June. I am supposed to be working on my project, namely the research on the topic of linguistic relativity, but I haven't progressed at all since I started collecting and reading all the related stuffs. Of course, I have understood a few key points, but as a whole, the project is not at all progressing, and I have only until next Friday to conclude my research.

-I am also supposed to be studying Philosophy, but the fact that all the philosophical books are formidable, hard to understand (I suspect one of the reasons is because the authors, who happen to be philosophers as well, are crazy, so they just can't make use of easy-to-understand language) and thick, makes it harder for me to endure it, and I suspect that me too is fast becoming a philosopher (read: crazy).

-This little blue world, is not blue. Nor is it little. But it is for me. Apparently.

Fearful 2

-One of my friends had returned safely from the blessed land of Hejaz, from the city of Makkah and Madinah, after completing his umrah. Barakallah alaika Kuloh.

-On the other hand, life goes on as usual.

-Can't we see there's something amiss?

-Thinking about this, makes me feel fearful.

Time 3

-Time passed by quickly. Soon, I will have my 21st birthday, and this time I won't expect nothing. Expectations only let you down; hence I won't ask for anything.

-In an unrelated subject, apparently dear Taib Mahmud, the longtime Chief Minister (Iban: Kepala Menteri) has decided to step down before the next election, according to Utusan Malaysia, the notorious, increasingly unreliable Malaysian newspaper.

-Duh. Doesn't mean anything much to me, currently trapped in Osaka, laboring and studying hard, albeit half-heartedly (might I also say half-assedly), in Philosophy Major. I have got no time to deal with no Chief Minister stepping down. It is overdue, anyway.

-Then, we have got news regarding the death of Osama bin Laden, this century's most celebrated figure, next to Justin Bieber. Some people, who doesn't care about Good and Evil (apparently that includes me as well) might wish that Bieber might be the next one to go. God forbid, for many of the Bieber's underage fans will cry, as if he were their husband.

-Duh. Enough of this thing, I have got no time for no bin Laden's death.

(Interlude: "Shouldn't you be praying that God forgive his soul?"

Outro: "I won't do something that offends lots of other souls."

Interlude: "But you said that you don't care about Good and Evil."

Outro: "Yup, but as it turned out, I happen to be a lazy, God-only-knows-how-evil-he-is person. So, the only thing that I would say is: 'To God do we return'.")

-Of course, whether God does exist depends on what you want to believe, and whether you do believe that God is kind enough to be authoring Scriptures for humans to read.

-Duh. I need to repent. Time is running short.

Better

-I'm feeling much better.

-I don't know why. Is it because of the summer, is it because of the shining sun, is it because of the flowers in the garden that blossoms? Well, I couldn't care less about the reason.

-What is important is that I'm feeling better.

-"All praise is due to Allah, Creator of the Heavens and the Earth, who made the angels messengers having wings two, three or four. He increases in creation what He wills. Indeed, Allah is over all things competent." (Quran, 35:1)

-At least I am feeling better for now. Depression don't disappear once you have them. It is there to stay.

Questioning Desires

-Am I still spiritually alive?

3 O'clock In The Morning

-I can't sleep.

-I miss everyone.

-I miss all the good times, it feels almost as if the Heaven was in the past.

-I am afraid of the future, I am afraid of time, I am afraid of the world. The world is getting nastier each day, one might wonder if God had actually forsaken this world and condemned it to Armageddon, leaving the inhabitants full with their anxieties and worries.

-It doesn't seem to get better each day. The life is increasingly depressing, and the obligations and the responsibilities gets heavier, and time is running short on me. With all of these, many of the people around me, including me, try to adjust, some by being more religious, some by being less religious, some by engaging in relationships, some by immersing themselves in more works or ideologies, and some just let themselves get dragged by the time, going with the flow.

-Yeah, it's hopeless. It's hopeless for those who let themselves fall down the grace, and sink down into the abyss of life. But some are still hopeful, some are still full of energy, some are being re-energized and some still try to carry on, albeit with little strength.

-What position am I in, then?

-Sometimes, I feel like giving up. Sometimes, I feel like running away. But if I give up, then what should I do? If I want to run away, where do I escape? And what from?

-And I think, maybe I am not the only one. No, it is the fact that I am not the only one. Everyone wants to take shelter from the cruelties of this world. Some find it in their beloved ones, some find it in religion, some find it in their friends, but some people are still unable to shelter themselves from the world.

-I don't consider myself a religious person anymore, but maybe it would be appropriate to quote from the Quran here; I still rely on Quran for spiritual health.

إِنَّا نَحْنُ نُحْيِي وَنُمِيتُ وَإِلَيْنَا الْمَصِيرُ

-"Indeed it is We who give life and cause death, and to Us is the destination."(Quran, 50:43)

-I don't know. It's already 3 o'clock in the morning.